Sometimes the funniest things happen in our offices! One day in the first year or so of operation, Lloyd Gossman decided to really have some fun with me. Lloyd was a safety director at the time for a local construction company. He came to the office with both of his hands bandaged from the tips of his fingers to nearly his elbows. “Oh goodness!” I exclaimed when I saw him. “What happened? This is so terrible!” Lloyd stated that he had been injured and was now here to take a post-accident drug screen, although he was unsure how he was going to accomplish that… and held up his bandaged hands. I was dumbfounded. How was I going to get this done? He obviously could not run a zipper! Lloyd let me hang on that for several minutes before he burst out laughing!! What a prank! He had even coerced a clinic patient to help him wrap up his hands in the parking lot! He had me going, for sure! We still laugh about that when I see him around town. Lloyd has been a great support to TSS over the years and has always been ready to help me when I ventured into the safety business side.
Another time, I was traveling to a drug screening conference, and Ginny Clay, our Operations Manager, was running the office in Ketchikan. She called to tell me she had a very unruly client, who was being a bit bullheaded about his drug screen. Not only had this client had a shy bladder, but now he wanted to go outside to his car and asked for more water than what was allowed – all the things. As Ginny stuck to protocol, following 49 CFR Part 40 on handling shy bladder situations, the client got louder. Eventually, he demanded to speak with me. So Ginny called me and handed him the phone. The man said, “Hey, Renee. This is Steve Murphy.” That cracked me up. I laughed out loud in the middle of the airport! Steve Murphy was a program inspector for the United States Coast Guard and Ginny had just undergone a clandestine inspection!! Steve was so good at these, and in his retirement, we really miss him, his guidance and his ongoing support to the mariners of Alaska. Ginny, of course, passed with flying colors.
These are just two of many stories I could tell. While our business of protecting workplace safety is extremely serious, the quite awkward nature of drug screening makes for some hilarious moments. And with all the ups and downs over the last 25 years, I’m pleased to say that the TSS team has never lost its sense of humor. Certainly, we’ll never forget that challenging “client” who could not pee!